Worth The Flowers

I have this running joke with myself. Ya see, growing up I loved flowers but I refused to buy them for myself. I felt like flowers were something that other people had to buy for you. They were like a prized possession I was glad to never take my eyes off. I loved the way roses smelled after a dance recital or the way my corsage smelled after my first prom. They made me feel special because someone took the time to pick them out just for me. But as a single twenty-three year old, I couldn’t tell you the last time that I received flowers from someone else. It seems like a lifetime ago. So I buy them for myself. That’s the joke. I buy myself flowers. Every. Single. Time. I go to the grocery store. I have no regrets. Over the years I’ve learned three things. Number one, that flowers are the way to my heart. Boys: take notes! Number two The same affection I feel from others when I receive flowers is the same affection the Lord desires to give to me always. And number three, just like the Lord desires to give me that same affection, He also desires for me to have that affection for myself.

If I could scream at my younger self, I would yell at her for waiting around for some lame guy to bring her flowers. I would tell her that he is not worth your time. (If I’m honest, he’s still not worth my time. Even now - different guy, same solution!!) The Lord has so sweetly shown me His affection. How he delights in showing us all His love for us. But each of us individually. We are all exactly what He wants. He is the best Father and a good friend. The best I’ve ever had.

In the same way, and this has been a tough one for me, the Lord has been teaching me how to have that same affection for myself. I guess in a way He’s been trying to teach me this for a long time. I mean hey, for years I’ve bought myself flowers. I haven’t even questioned it or cared. It’s felt like self care. But one day as I was doing my little ritual of searching for the perfect bouquet, the Lord so quietly asked me, “Michaela, is it just as special when you buy them for yourself? Because it should be.” It got me. It made me stop. Honestly for the first time in a long time. Because we all know the Lord loves us. But how often have we taken the time to think about whether or not we actually care about ourselves? Because the Lord wrecked me in that moment. He really moved me to take action and care for myself in a different way. It wasn’t just about buying myself flowers, it was about seeing myself worthy of a lot more than that. Just like you are worth all of that and more.

So buy yourself flowers. See yourself in a new light. It’s time. We serve a good God who wants us to love ourselves the way He loves and desires us. You’re worth the flowers.

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by Michaela Rawdon