enough isn’t the dirty word you think it is.

Tattoos are a permanent situation, for the most part. You can get one off, but it takes a lot of work. As one of my favorite song lyrics says, “tattoos on my arms, still scared of forever.” If you’ve been around me for any length of time, you know how much words matter to me. I guess that’s why I picked something as permanent as a tattoo for this one.

Several years ago, I got the word “enough” tattooed on my wrist. When I was young, I struggled so severely with body image and self esteem. If you know me now, you might think that I’m lying. I seem pretty confident. I am in fact, not lying. The me of 2021 has two degrees, multiple years of a career, and has completed a bunch of items on a to do list. And has a dog. Big fan of the dog. Seventeen year old me was… well, she was a bit of a mess. Awkward, constantly feeling out of place - you know, normal seventeen year old things. Plus hormones. Don’t forget those.

No one ever told me I was ugly or stupid (although some people hinted at their opinions, hey-o), I had a healthy and loving home environment. By all external conditions, I had it together. It was stacked in my favor. All that to say, I absolutely did not have it together. Most people don’t at that age, and we all struggle with different things. But believing you’re worthless? That one right there feels like it might take you out, no matter how good your life is supposed to be.

Flash forward several years (to where I was out of my parent’s house and paying my own bills, this note is for my youth group), and I settled on a tattoo. That word “enough” seemed to encompass everything I had survived. But beyond my abilities, I wanted it to reflect something a lot deeper than that. See, even in the midst of the great struggle of the soul, I wasn’t alone. Not only that, I didn’t have to face the fight for my life on my own.

The Apostle Paul is my low key super hero. In 2 Corinthians 12, he discusses the thorn in his flesh. We don’t have a clear or defined thing that we can call the thorn in his flesh. He notes that he's asked God to take it from him three times, and God did not take it from him but instead tells Paul that His grace is sufficient for him and is perfected through his weakness. Paul goes on to say that this “thorn” makes him boast in the strength of God instead of his own talents or abilities. I think the generality of Paul’s description of this thorn allows us to fill in the blank with our personal struggles. For me, as a teenager and young adult, it was self esteem. Then it was depression. Now I’m grappling with other things. What is your thing to fill in the blank with? Maybe it’s a more tangible or life threatening thing than I’ve struggled with. Maybe it’s your sexuality or your addiction or a physical handicap. I don’t know. Life is hard. There’s a whole lot of things that could be called a thorn in our flesh.

Every time I feel overwhelmed, I have to look down at my wrist. I have to remember 2 Corinthians 12:9. I have to remember Genesis, where God says over and over that I was made in His image, and ALL His creation was good. Imago Dei. Bearing the likeness of Christ in my creation. Reflecting the trinity with the very composition of my being. Propaganda's “It’s Complicated” talks about our divine creation:

“We may scratch ourselves raw to erase the image we were made in

Smoke, snort, sex or drown out the silence

We may waste our life-savings on makeovers

To try to rhinoplast our daddy's nose away

But no nip, no tuck could cut away the sense of obligation

We are becoming what we're not

But what we are is inescapable

You are a masterpiece fighting to be a silly selfie with a hideous filter

You are heaven's handmade calligraphy

Slumming it among papyrus fonts

You are the complete and perfect works

Of a perfect and eternal poet laureate

With a laundry list of identity issues”

All the work we do to distract ourselves from the divine creation of our being, from the Imago Dei of our very existence cannot change the truth. The truth is that you were handmade, on purpose. The truth is that God assigned value to you at birth. You were enough for Jesus to step out of the comfort and security of Heaven, go to the cross and take your sin upon Himself. From the moment of the fall in Genesis 3, there was never a time that a plan didn’t exist to unify and bring humanity back into wholeness with the Creator.

Adam and Eve felt shame in their nakedness for the first time at the moment of the fall. This shame changed their internal value of themselves. They became open and vulnerable to the weight and destruction of this world outside of the covenant and unity of relationship with Christ. Despite their valuation of themselves, God’s view of their value never changed. Not one bit. You don’t chase things of little to no value. You don’t send your only divine Son to die on the cross if something is worthless. The only logical conclusion that I can draw is that despite being vulnerable to the external shame and terrible things of the world, we have never lost our value in the eyes of God. That only leads me to believe that I am enough. That even in my weakness, God chose me, still. It encourages me to know that I am not responsible for defeating the evils of this world, or overcoming shame or depression on my own strength. For I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, because He said that His grace was sufficient (more than enough) for me.

So every time I worship, I lift my tattooed wrist once again in a reminder of my covenant with Christ. He called me worthy, He called me beloved, He called me loved. His grace is sufficient for me, and it is sufficient for you, too. He wants to know you, His divine creation, His beloved one. You were, are, and always will be enough for Jesus.