when the answer stings.

If I’m really honest today, I don’t know how to explain the plan of God. I can realize and rationalize the general plan, the hope of the gospel, the grace of salvation, but for me specifically, it usually seems a bit murky. I’m really not even a planner - I can plan, but on the whole, I just set a general course and go for it. I know some Type 1s just gritted their teeth, and I’m really sorry, but I’ve always been this way. It does always seem to bug me that I can’t figure out “God’s plan” (not the Drake version).

This is a common topic for people of all ages. We are obsessed with knowing what we should do, or shouldn’t do and judging ourselves and others by how well they did or didn’t do all of the things. I find it makes it a lot easier to feel better about the things we didn’t do if we can judge someone else for doing “worse” than we did, right? Oh… sorry, are we going to pretend we don’t do that? Anyway.

The thing that we should be talking about more instead of the elusive and mysterious call on each of our lives (which I do believe in and think we should honor) is what Christ specifically asked us to do. A lot of people avoid the Old Testament, and I get it. Reading through the Pentateuch the last few weeks wore me slap out. In our effort to show the grace of God, we stopped focusing on his commands. How many of the Ten Commandments can you name? What do you think the most disregarded commandment is? Almost everyone knows the big commandments - don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t kill, don’t have affairs, etc. Do you remember that we are commanded to keep the Sabbath? In our world of hustle and grind, how have you kept this commandment holy? It’s a little easier to not commit murder, just saying. In the New Testament, Jesus gives us the great commission and commands us to love the least of these. We usually think of the great commission as going on missions trips, and I’m not even about to bash that (although I am learning how a lot of them are being done needs A LOT of accountability and correction). Missions is the very core of my bones, and I have met people that have changed my life, my world view, and my hope in Christ. That being said, if you are only doing that once a year, are you fulfilling the great commission?

The answer is no. The deal is that God gave us a lot of general instructions and guidance to follow while we figure out our specific purpose on this journey of life. If it’s a lot for you to start in the OT, hit the new NT up and see how Jesus’s words match up to your life choices. Don’t rationalize. Don’t justify. I know there is a lot of grey area in the course of making decisions. But from an outsider’s perspective, how are you serving, loving, giving grace and forgiving? This is not the guilt complex. Jesus doesn’t do guilt. He does conviction, but conviction comes with love, and love comes with grace. The place you are is the place you are, and you can only improve from here. Here’s a hint: we ALL have work to do in this area. We all can improve at following and honoring the commands of Christ.

I believe in the unique call of God on all of our lives. I believe we have people to reach with our stories and tasks to fulfill. I believe in those things, but I also believe and commit myself to working to fulfill the specific and defined requests of Christ. It’s a lot easier to ignore the big picture because you’re worried about yourself. This week, I had some doors close in my face that I have prayed would open for a long time. I was so frustrated. I left my house, late to church, and at the end, stood in the back and cried. I have prayed a lot of frustrated (see also: angry) prayers over the years. This was more frustrated and confused, than anything. I asked God for a column of clouds, or a pillar of fire, or at the very least a bright pink neon sign if we are out of the first two. A little guidance would be good for me. Today, a little more removed from the situation, God quietly reminded me that I am called and set apart to do His will. I am all of those things, but He gave me things to do while I was waiting on answers from Him about the specifics of my life.

So, here’s the truth: sometimes the answer stings. Sometimes the door that you thought SURELY must have been God gets closed, and that messes you up for a second. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only answer you ever get. I guess my question is, are you choosing to be faithful in well doing (even if you do it angry, frustrated or silent) to the original call of Christ? Are you so annoyed with God that He isn’t telling you every detail of your life plan that you can’t do what you were born to do - share the love of Christ with every breath, every action and every moment? Only you can know the answer. I had to correct my own attitude, and get back on track. We all have choices, so what you decide to do is up to you. I can tell you though, that if Jesus never opens the door I’ve prayed over for so long, He’s still good, He’s still faithful, and I will still serve Him. I hope that this was an encouragement to you, and not a voice of guilt or shame. You are so loved, today, in the place you are in. Choose Jesus. You won’t regret Him.