let’s try a little empathy.

Lately about all I have the mental space for is watching Scrubs on repeat, or something as brainless as Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. They say that re-watching shows you’ve seen several times before is a coping mechanism for anxiety. Your brain is so overloaded with data that you can’t handle anything else new, including the stress of a show you’ve not seen before. Crazy how our brains work, right? We are constantly inventing coping mechanisms to handle our daily realities. We tune into our phones before we tune into conversation. We sink into the sofa after a long day, or a glass of something strong, or way too many glasses of something… Maybe you don’t like to talk about that, because you’d personally never cope with an addictive substance. But you’re probably coping with something - fill in the blank with your preferred substance.

On this side of eternity, life will never be perfect or free from pain. Sometimes I think it’s more pain than joy. I watch people walk through life, blissfully unaware of grief or loss - at least from my perspective. Everyone carries their “hard” thing. Maybe that beautiful girl was sexually assaulted by a guy at a party, and she hasn’t told anyone. She lives in fear of people knowing, so she drinks and parties and flirts with everyone. Distraction. Maybe that guy who seems to have it all together actually lost his parents in a tragic accident when he was young. He’s been parenting his siblings ever since. There are a thousand breakdowns to these stories. Usually, they aren’t so obvious from a distance.

Stories matter. Over and over again, I’m reminded of that simple fact. Stories change how I see people, and they deeply affect how I interact with them. If I know that someone has faced a specific tragedy, I am more likely to be cautious with how I approach that topic in conversation. I am empathetic in how I engage them, because I know they’re already a little bit wounded.

I guess my question is: why don’t we treat everyone with empathy and compassion? Maybe you think I’m a hippie, or whatever little label you want to assign to me. That’s fine. This is the south, so y’all just follow it with “bless your heart.” But my heart is so tired lately of seeing people of all beliefs, races and lifestyles being treated like they’re unbreakable. I almost can’t stand it. I recently read an entire thread on Twitter where being empathetic to someone’s personal struggle was called “unChristlike.” I’m not sure what Jesus they are following, but Jesus of Nazareth moved with kindness and compassion towards all people. The Samaritan Woman, the woman with the issue of blood, Nicodemus, Thomas the Doubter, Mary and Martha… the list is continuous. So why do we feel that we have the right to treat people we encounter with any less kindness than the Son of David would have?

Before you hit me with some stuff about people being rude or unkind to you, duh. Of course they are. We are all a little bit (or a lot) broken. You really want to continue that cycle, keep that unhappiness going? I already know I’m going to end up in heaven with people who didn’t live like me, act like me, vote like me, or look like me. You might as well get over all that on this side of eternity. Someone believes in something you don’t? Okay, cool. Does it directly conflict with the knowledge that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and theirs? If so, can you pray that the Holy Spirit will help you to love them deeper and reveal things to you both that will correct your theology and missteps? If you haven’t tried that, I’d recommend it. We are all working out our salvation with fear and trembling. Except sometimes I think we all need a little more fear, and a lot more trembling. I know I certainly do. My goal is to always love a person more than my own opinion. I have certainly failed at that a million times, and I’m sure I’ll fail a million more before I see Jesus face to face. But I hope as many times as I fail, I try again, apologize again, love again. That’s what they’ll remember about me, and probably about you, too. Here’s to empathy and kindness in a world that forgot.