BUT I WANT IT NOW.

But I want it now.

This is a phrase and statement we all know a little too well. We won’t admit it to anyone other than to ourselves, yet we say it all the time. In the culture that we live in, we exist and thrive off of achieving our goals and dreams. I’m not saying don’t have dreams, but what I am saying and what I am asking is how much of your dreams and your goals really include God…

“But I am including God…” Sir & ma’am - sit down. I’m not attacking you and saying that you aren’t. It’s easy to fool ourselves. It’s easy to go through our days, weeks, and all of life, just doing what seems to be best. But we end up going to bed at the end of the day drained, empty, and feeling useless.

Hello, that should be our first sign that we’re not really including God in the mix of what we are doing. What this also says about our thought process is that we think our pay grade is higher than it really is. Now, yes, God does provide all that our heart desires and goes abundantly, exceedingly, beyond our wildest dreams and imagination… BUT we aren’t supposed to be the ones holding the pen of life, writing our own story.

Something truly beautiful happens when we surrender everything completely to God, aligning our vision, aligning our dreams, and aligning our heart with the one who designed us. When we end up giving him back the pen of life. Yes it’s scary, but also beautiful.

Lately, during our extended stay corona vacation, I’ve been doing more reading, having more self reflection, and just simply being more honest with myself (woah, taboo for an enneagram 7). Especially in the season that I am in, the one thing that I keep hearing from the Holy Spirit and seeing in the Bible is this theme of surrender…

This is an uncomfortable world in our culture.

We want to always be in control.

We want to be the one who holds the card.

We want to be the one who writes our own story.

We want what we want, and we want it when we want it.

Trust me I get it.

But, let me leave you with this.

Stop attempting to write your own story.

Stop attempting to write your own job description and not involve God in the layout.

Stop attempting to move when the Holy Spirit hasn’t yet given you the green light.

Stop attempting to remain friends with people who pull you away from the image of Christ.

Stop attempting to make excuses just so your morals seem stable.

Just. Stop. Attempting. To. Hold. The. Pen.

I want to leave you with this, a simple fact that me, myself, and I have found out during this season of my life:

When you stop attempting to hold the pen, the peace and favor of God will follow.

Questions:

1. What am I holding onto that is keeping me from allowing God to write my story?

2. Who am I surrounding myself with who is pulling me away from God's plan?

3. Is me attempting to hold my own pen rooted in:

   1. Fear

   2. Anxiety

   3. Pride

   4. Lack of trust

   5. All of the above + then some

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by Elijah Holbrook